Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 240 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady was right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Alaska! In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a bubbler fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the Metro or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerised gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then? Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a “Know-it-all” young person. Remember: Don't make old people mad. They don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick them off."
Dear Old People,
“Back in my day, our families bathed in the same water one-by-one and then brushed our teeth with it. Then the water was used in the preparation of the next day's soup!"
There was a minor eruption in the blogospere recently over a decision by DC Comics to create a spin-off of Batman, to market in France, which would feature a “Muslim Batman.” The storyline goes something like this: Bruce Wayne has decided to franchise his brand around the world, leading to the creation of Batman, Inc. While in France, he finds Bilal Asselah, who is arrested after being caught up in the 2005 immigrant riots while dressed up in spandex and running up walls, and Wayne picks Asselah to be Paris’s coolest new superhero, Nightrunner.
| Whose Paris? |
| Captain America took on these Tea-Partiers last year. |
As I spin my lonely dreydl on this Christmas eve, I wish my goyish friends a happy holiday. I’m a little jealous. But not because I don’t get any presents, but because Christmas music is way cooler than Hannukkah music. The closest we get to popular holiday tunes are an Adam Sandler song and the Klezmatics’ album of Woody Guthrie penned Hannukkah music.
OK, so most contemporary Christmas music sucks. I know -- I worked at a record store for five years, during which we were forced to play Christmas tracks around the clock every December. I knew all the words to Rosie O’Donnell’s A Rosie Christmas the year that one was released. I’ll spare you a hyperlink.
But if Bob Dylan can get into Christmas music, I guess I can too. After all, Darlene Love boasts that it took three Jews to write what she terms the greatest Christmas song of all time:
Here’s Miles Davis on Christmas:
“Blue Xmas” is on a compilation CD called Hipsters’ Holiday, which I recommend, although I have found that evangelical East Texans don’t like it. But they spin Bob Wills tunes in Aggie country, and that’s OK too (Aaah-Aaah!). My next pick probably doesn’t go down very well down there either, but I understand that its quite popular in the UK around Christmastime, where they presumably have a better collective sense of humor:
No knocking Darlene Love, but “Fairytale of New York” might just be the greatest song of all time, Christmas or not. Those three Jews were seriously bested by a couple of Irishmen. I tend to listen to “Fairytale of New York” on repeat whenever I dig it out.
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
--Robert Frost
Earlier this week, a county snow plow caught fire in the suburban town of Prior Lake. Fortunately, its driver escaped without injury, and nobody else was hurt. No one knows what lit the plow aflame, but a full tank of gas aided in its immolation. According to the local fire chief, “That’s the reason there was a lot of fire.”
Further east, a suburban home in Apple Valley burned down after a troubled woman doused it with gasoline, struck a match, and tried to kill herself with a screwdriver. This news reminded me of Drowning Mona, a movie about people who drive Yugos. The film starred Neve Campbell, whose good looks and snowy forename embodied the aesthetics of a frosty and fiery winter apocalypse.
In my opinion, one of the best recurring moments of fire and ice is the Winter Olympic torch—the flames I mean, not the related ceremonies. I think it’s great to watch televised Nordic ski racing, even if you have to listen to Al Trautwig’s stupid commentary. But since we can’t look forward to that again until 2014, it’s good to have other icy hot distractions.
Snowy volcanos usually do it for me. Right around our first snowfall this winter, I started listening to the band Torche. Because I’m not super hip on the music scene, I sometimes fall a few years and/or decades behind the state of the art. In this case, I was blasting “Snowblind,” the classic Black Sabbath tune, in honor of our forthcoming snow-mageddon. Then I realized Ozzy’s howling was not literally about snow, but about cocaine. Pleased at having unraveled this metaphor, I decided my chops were in shape for something more current. I came across Torche while browsing “top-rated” heavy metal playlists on the iTunes music store; although, technically, I think their genre is something more like sludge rock or stoner metal. Their melodies whirl atop heavy, drop-tuned guitar riffs, but in major keys. And I think this what really elevates them over any other “metal” band I’ve heard; it transforms the doom and gloom into something more ambiguous and interesting.
Yesterday evening, we endured the winter solstice and crossed into Rumple Minze season. If there’s ever a beverage that represents fire and ice, it’s the oddly-fascist 100-proof peppermint schnapps. Rumple Minze is to your esophagus as Gold Bond is to your dermis. The frozen menthol burn pairs well with hot chocolate, offering a sultry taste redolent of a tryst between the Swiss Miss and Princess Teegra. Another good winter cocktail is the “Grolar Bear” (Ursus horribilus maritimus), a beige blend of peppermint schnapps and bourbon.
In the spirit of the season, let's raise our glasses to the heroes and champions, artists and adventures, lovers, brothers, sisters, and Others that make the world hot and cold. Cheers, and happy holidays!
First, although this means that servicemen and women who identify as gay or bisexual can serve without being afraid getting fired, it doesn’t mean that life in the military will be any easier. The barbeques on base are not immediately going to start resembling Lady Gaga concerts because, I imagine, most of those who are affected by this bill are likely to keep their sexuality under wraps. Homophobia is not going to disappear from the military overnight.
Second, we should think about the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in the context of broader changes in understandings of civil rights in the United States, changes that are often precipitated by the military, or because of American militaristic aims. Ever since the black seaman Dorie Miller, a mess hall cook, manned anti-aircraft guns at Pearl Harbor, leaders have capitalized upon the eagerness of Americans to sacrifice for a country that has systematically discriminated against them.
During World War II, the military paraded Miller and other African Americans around so as to promote a unified citizenry and dissuade racial conflict. Documentary films like The Negro Soldier, the result of collaborations between the Signal Corps, the Office of War Information, and Hollywood, projected an image of a multicultural fighting force, even as troops were still segregated and minorities were given the worst, menial jobs. And features such as Hollywood Canteen dramatized the co-mingling of black, Asian, and Native American soldiers, even as the real Hollywood Canteen, a club in Los Angeles that Bette Davis created for servicemen on shore leave, was under investigation by the FBI because Davis refused to segregate its visitors.
In American government policy, political discourse, and mass culture, civil rights became entangled with ideas about service to the nation. Prisoners at Manzanar and other Japanese-American concentration camps (the U.S. government’s preferred terminology at the time) were only allowed to leave the camp if they swore allegiance to the country that had locked them up, and if they voluntarily enlisted to join the front lines in Europe. Thus thousands of Japanese and other minority soldiers died, with the understanding that their sacrifice was a means to prove their Americaness.
The cold war provoked leaders like Truman, Eisenhower and Kennedy to think about civil rights almost solely in terms of the strategies of a global war. Communists, not only in the Soviet Union, but also those who were dedicated to the struggles of third world liberation movements around the world, pointed to racism and segregation as proof of the hypocrisy of Western democracy. When Truman desegregated the military, he did it to ensure the survival of American hegemony.
For much of the following decade, Hollywood movies spoke in terms of race almost exclusively within the context of military service. And none of them questioned the inanity of making minorities prove their devotion, at the cost of their own blood, to a country that still withheld equal rights. The policy of “Double Victory” that animated African American troops to volunteer in the war against fascism had backfired; The assumption that the subjugated would find equality after proving their loyalty in World War II became a perpetual call for minorities to voice their grievances within the bounds of the conservative nationalism of the early cold war.
As Melani McAlister has argued, the notion of a multi-cultural, egalitarian America has a greater currency in global politics now more than ever. When Barack Obama was elected president, he projected an internationalist image to his Muslim audience in a speech in Egypt for which he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, even as he continued to wage two wars in the region. I would argue that his ability to act as a black leader is terribly circumscribed by the necessity that he operate as an American one, but its only the latter that allows for the former.
It is unlikely that terrorists are passing out pamphlets in Pakistan that attack Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. But we might ask why this reform, that which allows gay men and women to die for their country, is being passed while there are still no laws that prevent employers from firing people for being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered. Why is it that gay Americans can elect to protect their country, but the same country has elected not to protect them? Some, not all, gay men and women have voiced their opposition to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in terms of patriotic sacrifice -- I just want to serve my country in a time of war. I don’t mean to entirely dismiss such language as a means to argue for equal rights. And certainly, jobs currently held by homosexuals in the military are diverse enough that it is unlikely that we will see masses of recently outed servicemen sent to the front lines to die in as overwhelming numbers as was suffered by the Japanese-American 442nd Infantry and other minority regiments in wars past. But I wonder if there is a disconnect between this movement and the broader struggle towards social justice, in the United States and abroad.
The 442nd
Does this mean, in repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, that we are elevating an argument for equality that carries with it stipulations that reify militaristic nationalist sentiment and thus validate American global hegemony? Will the movement against Don’t Ask Don’t Tell backfire? I hope not, and I don’t want to overstress the historical parallels here.
In the essay “American Things,” Tony Kushner wrote that gay rights is the same as civil rights, the same as socialism. He championed the concept of America while dismissing the “fixed fetishes of democracy and freedom” and chastising those who saw the American experiment as a finished project, and American democracy as an excuse to tyrannize minorities.
“The only politics that can survive an encounter with this world,” he says, “is a politics that can encompass both the harmonics and the dissonance. The frazzle, the rubbed raw, the unresolved, the fragile and the fiery and the dangerous: These are American things.”
To be honest, I don’t really know what all of that means. But it strikes me as Bulosan-esque, and maybe it is along the lines of what’s missing in the discussion of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.